Cobalt Gets the Lia Treatment – Again

I was going to do pictures again for the Monday Funny, but then this happened.

Starbucks closed early, so we went to Denny’s for a writing night (bad idea for my waist!). While I was busy setting the picture on the left as Lia’s phone’s background, she was improving the current scene of Cobalt.

The first paragraph is mine, and her handiwork follows.

A few minutes later, the gangplank creaked as a pair of boots descended the boards. Ruby hopped from Milek’s shoulders to Kate’s as the captain stepped forward, a wide smile on his face and his hand outstretched in greeting.

“WELCOME,” shouted the captain. “I would like to welcome you all to my cannibalistic express, my pride and joy, the airship, Squiggly Figgigiddy Giggy. My name is Sally Bootygrabber, and I will be your host on this fabulous trip.” Captain Sally took hold of everyone’s booties (he could do that because he had five arms. One stuck out of his forehead and would grab or smack anything that dared come close, like Kate’s face) and led them on to the ship.

What they saw inside surprised them. The walls were lined with pictures of boy bands with spiky hair and clothes too large to fit on their bodies, and the carpets were designed with paint splatters. The passengers on the Squiggly Figgigiddy Giggy were wearing all manner of crazy costumes. Kate saw one lady wearing nothing but a medieval bikini made of steel with plastic fish hanging off the boob area. She had a hat the size of Canada on her buttocks, and a chicken strapped to her head. Kate saw many things on that ship, but decided to block them from her memory. The end.

I worry about Lia. Her embellishments are always sort of naughty. After we finished up our writer’s night, much too late, I chatted with my former boss Cindy before we left. She asked what else was going on and I said we were going to go home and watch My Little Pony. She shook her head, said, “Why do I even ask these questions?” and walked away. Then we headed home, but drove several times around the neighborhood first until “Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough” by Cyndi Lauper was finished playing on the iPod.

The end.


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